Dream a little dream

Two nights ago I had a dream.  It was one of those dreams where you want to be convinced it was real, but even your unconscious self thinks it might be too good to be true.

I dreamed I was back at school, in the clinic.  My first clue that it was a dream should have been the fact that it didn’t look like the clinic at all, but that’s besides the point.  I was on Animal Care, and most of my friends were there.  Then Khris arrived.  Dr. T started chewing him out for being late, and telling him he should be more responsible and serious about the program.  Then he came over to me and said he had to tell me something.  He apologized for ignoring me for so long, and told me he shared my feelings.  I remember in my dream I stood there, baffled, and then I started crying.  He gave me a hug, and I remember being able to smell his cologne/aftershave/manly scent that he used; I can’t remember what it smells like now that I’m awake.  The rest of the dream was basically me hanging out with Khris and all my vet tech friends, playing with the animals we had at school.  At one point in the dream I turned to my friend Heather, who was also there, and said, “I must be dreaming.  This has to be a dream”, to which she responded that it wasn’t, it was real.  My dream self believed her, and I was so happy and content for the rest of the dream.

When I woke up, it took me a while to realize that it wasn’t real.  I lay awake for most of an hour, crying on and off, crushed because all the things I wanted had happened, and now they weren’t real.

I want it to stop hurting.  I’m trying to move on and get over it, but it’s hard.

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~ by blacksheepintheroom on October 8, 2011.

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