My life is a soap opera

This is probably one of the most ridiculous things I’ve been worrying about in a long time.  From a previous post, I mentioned there was a guy I liked.  I suppose I can give him a name, since he will never read this.  I met Khris a year ago in September.  Or sort of met him.  He was in first year, I was in second year, and I “observed from a distance” as I like to say.  I almost immediately decided I liked him, but I never had the occasion to talk to him.  When I had to repeat second year, it turned out we were in the same schedule for first semester (coincidence, I swear!).  We ended up working together in Anesthesia for the semester, and I’d say we got along well.  One weekend while Khris was on animal care, I had volunteered to come in and groom 3 Shih-tzu mixes who were all matted.  The worst of them happened to be Khris’s dog, and we spent the better part of 3 hours hacking through urine and feces soaked fur.  Not the traditional way of getting to meet someone, but it was fun.  After that, we listening to the Bud Light “Real Men of Genius” commercials that Khris was playing on his computer.  I laughed so hard I was crying; those commercials are hilarious!

In second semester I got to choose my schedule since I was going to be part-time and the part-time students had to be divided up evenly.  This time I fully admit to picking Khris’s schedule, but in all fairness, most of my friends were in that schedule too.  We didn’t end up in the same groups, but we would see each other almost daily.  That’s when the flirting started.  I call it flirting for lack of a better word; I still don’t know if Khris ever meant anything by it.  I would catch him looking at me across the room, or he would come and talk to me or ask me questions.  We poked fun at each other constantly.  Khris would start quoting the Bud Light commercials, which would leave me doubled over laughing with tears streaming down my face.  I actually had to leave the room once I was laughing so hard.  Khris started trying to sneak up on me while I wasn’t looking; the first time he walked up right behind me, leaned in, and whispered “Boo” in my ear.  The next time he just stood there and watched me until I turned around and damn near ran into him.  (If you don’t call that flirting, I don’t know what you call it).

I probably got far too into whatever we had going on.  I was convinced that he must have felt something for me, otherwise why would he be acting like he was?  I never had the opportunity to tell him in person how I felt.  He ended up dropping out of the program after reading week.  I didn’t even get to say goodbye, it was very sudden.  I haven’t seen or spoken to him since.  I sent him a message telling him how I felt, but I don’t know if he received it or if he even cared.

And here lies the problem.  I haven’t felt this strongly about someone in more than five years.  Maybe it was careless of me to like Khris as much as I do, but I can’t help that.  But now I’ve met another guy.  His name is Ramon (looks Spanish, I know, but it’s pronounced “Raymond”).  I’ve only met him the one time, and I’m already falling for him; talk about careless!  Ray is really sweet and genuine.  I admit I met him at the bar, but Heather and her friends have known him for a while.  He tried to get me dancing, which is something I never do, and he didn’t get put off when I told him I don’t dance.  He was persistent without being pushy, and didn’t just give up.  He actually asked if I was going to be in town for the summer, and finding out that I will be, has declared that he will teach me to dance this summer.

I know I have a weakness for guys that are nice to me.  I’ve known it for a while.  But I’m really not used to it when guys go all out to get my attention.  That’s what made me fall so hard for Khris, and that’s why I’m falling for Ramon now.  This is where the soap opera come into play.  I still have strong feelings for Khris, but I don’t know if I will ever see him again.  Ramon is here now, and obviously willing to get to know me.  Who do I pick?  I have a stupid sense of loyalty for Khris, and I don’t know why.  It’s probably a comfort thing, since I know him better.  I wish I didn’t find boys so confusing.

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~ by blacksheepintheroom on June 17, 2011.

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