Lonely

It really sucks knowing only one person in town, especially when that one person is a social butterfly.  Since school got out, all of my friends have moved away.  The only person I know now is my room mate (and classmate) Heather.  Heather has this amazing ability to make friends with everyone she meets.  I guess this seems amazing to me because I’m so shy.  She broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago, and has since met a new group of friends through her work.  I’ve hung out with them a few times, and they’re nice people, but I just get the feeling I don’t quite fit in.  Heather’s now dating another guy from this group of friends, and it’s like the ex-boyfriend all over again.  As soon as they’re together it’s like the rest of the world stops existing.  The three of us can be sitting in the car together, and it’s like I’m not even there; they don’t talk to me or even attempt to include me in their conversation.  When I do inquire into something, I’m brushed off because it’s not something that involves me.  I feel like a third wheel in Heather’s life; I feel like “that friend” who always tags along but no one really likes.  I know it’s stupid for me to get upset because Heather has friends other than me.  I just wish I had friends other than Heather who I was actually capable of seeing more than once a month.  It gets really lonely when Heather takes off with her friends.  I’ve spent time with them, I know they’re having fun.  Meanwhile, I stay at home and channel/internet surf to keep myself occupied.  I don’t even know how I could meet more people.  I’m looking for a job, and guaranteed I’ll meet people once I start working, but I’m so depressed I don’t really have the motivation to do anything.  I wish I was still in school so I could see all my friends every day.

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~ by blacksheepintheroom on June 16, 2011.

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